half empty

ive began drinking slowly so that it will last.

but this is my last sip. 

no more drinking from the same glass.

lip stains, dry wine, and cheap champagne. 

no more talking to myself.

no more complaining about yesterday. 

my glass is half full

& yet im still thirsty.

im in need of more than what i've been wanting. 

i was looking for something my whole life, & there it was, inside of me.
the hope. the wisdom. & the know.
to overcome anything.
the power of knowledge.
and the gift of growth.
it allowed me the opportunity
to forgive & to understand.
realizing everything was apart of his plan.

- My circumstances will not change until I do. If i can change my mind, i can do anything. I will acknowledge the wisdom that i have received. i will not deceive nor will i be deceived. i will not be mislead, instead i will lead,
by following in the footsteps of the King.

shadows

everything is ordinary.
black and white.
dark in spaces. others filled with light.
your days would change like a mood ring.
you wouldn't allow anything to come,
everything you had, you would bring.
interrupting a silence that spoke so vividly.
but you couldn't see that.
everything was always white and black.
you could only feel the energy that your spirt gave back,
to the atmosphere.
fearful of your conscience.
your space would be as crowded as that space filled with darkness.
is everything hidden or are you lost?
you would always search for color..
never finding the artist.

headphones in my ears. music blasting.
then i turn it down.
my perception is broken by the sound
of someone else's views and thoughts of places they've been.
and the things they've seen.
something that is not apart of my actuality.
a place that i am not from.
perhaps a place that they've had to overcome
life is teaching me a different lesson that they've been taught.
i will not fight a battle
that someone else has fought.
i have my own battles.
there is no room to crowd my mind
with deception or a reality that is not my own.
my soul is awaken when my soul is alone.
my pen scratching my notepad and the rhythm of my heart beat
is all i need to create the perfect melody.
my thoughts become words as my mind and heart become as one.
it's clear that i will never lose a battle that i've already won.
because although i feel trapped in a container filled with my dreams hopes and wishes.
i have a gift. & it allows me to travel on this unpredictable expedition.

all i need in this life of sin
is a candle lit, slow music, and someone to slow dance with.
caressing my mind with an intellectual conversation. embracing my invisible wings as though i was a butterfly sitting on a sunflower. i'll let you in and you wouldn't be afraid to go through. because you know that reality is far from beautiful. we aren't afraid to break the frame and paint on our own canvas. we are in control of everything that we've created.

young adult

up all night.
enjoying the simple shit.
the champagne and the campaign
to be the coolest nigga alive,
im not interested.
in the small things.
not anymore.
a nigga' been 18 for way too long.
to keep living like this shit is new to me.
im trying to get to a place where i can live comfortably.
explore more and
not make believe
that this poisonous scenery is not the enemy.
i'm laying low & scheming on ways to get right.
avoiding all that shit those people want to plant in my life
dead in the soul, lost in the brain
trapped in the struggle without shit to gain.
i aint stupid. i see what they are doing.
they know we are powerful.
and they will continue to ruin it.
but they wont ruin me.
i got tunnel vision, like 3d.
and my king, he motivates me
to go so hard.
he know i'm not perfect and he except my flaws.
unlike everybody else that's ready to judge
i wont impress anybody for fake love.
so the champagne and the campaign
im not not interested.
i was given a gift to see right through anything
that isn't meant for me

take off

faded pictures,
vivid memories.
lost time.
longing for longevity.
something that will last.
something that is for me.
searching for my own space
within a lost place
somewhere i don't belong.
feeling misplaced, misguided
misunderstood.
seeing things happen
before i knew that they would.
talking to myself and feeling alone.
is this is a gift or is my mind
taking a trip of its own.
then i say to myself,
maybe i need this vacation.
take a day off
for some much needed relaxation.
i had the key to unlock the door.
so i entered.
exploring parts of me that i never knew existed.