headphones in my ears. music blasting.
then i turn it down.
my perception is broken by the sound
of someone else's views and thoughts of places they've been.
and the things they've seen.
something that is not apart of my actuality.
a place that i am not from.
perhaps a place that they've had to overcome
life is teaching me a different lesson that they've been taught.
i will not fight a battle
that someone else has fought.
i have my own battles.
there is no room to crowd my mind
with deception or a reality that is not my own.
my soul is awaken when my soul is alone.
my pen scratching my notepad and the rhythm of my heart beat
is all i need to create the perfect melody.
my thoughts become words as my mind and heart become as one.
it's clear that i will never lose a battle that i've already won.
because although i feel trapped in a container filled with my dreams hopes and wishes.
i have a gift. & it allows me to travel on this unpredictable expedition.

all i need in this life of sin
is a candle lit, slow music, and someone to slow dance with.
caressing my mind with an intellectual conversation. embracing my invisible wings as though i was a butterfly sitting on a sunflower. i'll let you in and you wouldn't be afraid to go through. because you know that reality is far from beautiful. we aren't afraid to break the frame and paint on our own canvas. we are in control of everything that we've created.

young adult

up all night.
enjoying the simple shit.
the champagne and the campaign
to be the coolest nigga alive,
im not interested.
in the small things.
not anymore.
a nigga' been 18 for way too long.
to keep living like this shit is new to me.
im trying to get to a place where i can live comfortably.
explore more and
not make believe
that this poisonous scenery is not the enemy.
i'm laying low & scheming on ways to get right.
avoiding all that shit those people want to plant in my life
dead in the soul, lost in the brain
trapped in the struggle without shit to gain.
i aint stupid. i see what they are doing.
they know we are powerful.
and they will continue to ruin it.
but they wont ruin me.
i got tunnel vision, like 3d.
and my king, he motivates me
to go so hard.
he know i'm not perfect and he except my flaws.
unlike everybody else that's ready to judge
i wont impress anybody for fake love.
so the champagne and the campaign
im not not interested.
i was given a gift to see right through anything
that isn't meant for me

take off

faded pictures,
vivid memories.
lost time.
longing for longevity.
something that will last.
something that is for me.
searching for my own space
within a lost place
somewhere i don't belong.
feeling misplaced, misguided
misunderstood.
seeing things happen
before i knew that they would.
talking to myself and feeling alone.
is this is a gift or is my mind
taking a trip of its own.
then i say to myself,
maybe i need this vacation.
take a day off
for some much needed relaxation.
i had the key to unlock the door.
so i entered.
exploring parts of me that i never knew existed.

anonymous

my dreams are my nightmares;
it's a gift and a curse.
i always see it coming before it has a chance to go.
sometimes it will take off.
with or without me.
what if it's going somewhere that i've always wished to see.
or maybe it's my mind playin' tricks on me.
wondering if it would wait for me or forsake me.
would it leave me wounded.
or maybe it is as intense as a stray bullet,
it isn't intended to destroy anything
but just keep me aware.
keep my mind open to the possibilities of how great things will be once i finally arrive there.
a place created for me.
my final destination.
my eyes will be prepared for this unexplainable presentation.
this has to be a blessing because i've been low on luck.
how could i get here on time when i could barely keep up.
something so great waited for me
my catastrophe created a masterpiece.
and just like the last gift under the christmas tree,
i will watch the present unfold.
this feeling couldn't be described with adjectives but only felt with the soul.
not wishing to regain anything that once was, something rusted and old.
or maybe this could be the greatest story ever told,
by someone else.
-anonymous.

Dear Guide.

guide my footsteps, protect my heart.
help me to be wise, help me to be smart.
help me up when i am down.
cleanse my heart of any doubt.
help me see everything for what it is
help me trust in all that i believe.
protect my soul.
uplift my spirit.
guide my footsteps Lord,
if any should be shifted.
in your name i pray.
amen.

crowned

i needed someone to bitch to
someone to vent to.
but the people who would actually listen didn't give a fuck.
because they wanted me stuck
in the same position, that that pray on.
in a crowded space with small minds sittin' on a high throne

it's no way i could be in that space;
nothing seemed real not even a trace
of a real image to look at;
heart racing and mind jaded by all the fake shit that came along with it.
when they smile, i wave
but.
please don't start a conversation,
i have nothing to say.
i don't need your fake energy
to cross my path
or enter my lane

i'm older now and all this old shit is driving me insane.
im starting to think everything is meant to keep the blessings away.


same people, same feelings.
thats what i keep seeing.
how do they expect me to believe these lies they believe in.