anonymous

my dreams are my nightmares;
it's a gift and a curse.
i always see it coming before it has a chance to go.
sometimes it will take off.
with or without me.
what if it's going somewhere that i've always wished to see.
or maybe it's my mind playin' tricks on me.
wondering if it would wait for me or forsake me.
would it leave me wounded.
or maybe it is as intense as a stray bullet,
it isn't intended to destroy anything
but just keep me aware.
keep my mind open to the possibilities of how great things will be once i finally arrive there.
a place created for me.
my final destination.
my eyes will be prepared for this unexplainable presentation.
this has to be a blessing because i've been low on luck.
how could i get here on time when i could barely keep up.
something so great waited for me
my catastrophe created a masterpiece.
and just like the last gift under the christmas tree,
i will watch the present unfold.
this feeling couldn't be described with adjectives but only felt with the soul.
not wishing to regain anything that once was, something rusted and old.
or maybe this could be the greatest story ever told,
by someone else.
-anonymous.

Dear Guide.

guide my footsteps, protect my heart.
help me to be wise, help me to be smart.
help me up when i am down.
cleanse my heart of any doubt.
help me see everything for what it is
help me trust in all that i believe.
protect my soul.
uplift my spirit.
guide my footsteps Lord,
if any should be shifted.
in your name i pray.
amen.

crowned

i needed someone to bitch to
someone to vent to.
but the people who would actually listen didn't give a fuck.
because they wanted me stuck
in the same position, that that pray on.
in a crowded space with small minds sittin' on a high throne

it's no way i could be in that space;
nothing seemed real not even a trace
of a real image to look at;
heart racing and mind jaded by all the fake shit that came along with it.
when they smile, i wave
but.
please don't start a conversation,
i have nothing to say.
i don't need your fake energy
to cross my path
or enter my lane

i'm older now and all this old shit is driving me insane.
im starting to think everything is meant to keep the blessings away.


same people, same feelings.
thats what i keep seeing.
how do they expect me to believe these lies they believe in.

mass destruction.

we never seen what it was like
maybe that's why we wanted it so bad.
rushing, without yielding or stopping to think.
crashing, like a glass in chemistry.
who knew that  an unexpected fire would cause such beautiful sparkles
and uncontrollable flames.
and just like that, we continued to grow
making our own rules along the way.
we couldnt let go.
we felt the same pain.
we went perfect together without knowing where we were going.
we couldn't be destroyed because we were destruction.
our pain is like fuel and our love is like fire.
this mass destruction was created to take us higher.

Whenever i have a question
or cannot decide which way to turn,
i look to God.
He may not answer when i ask,
but he is always on time.
Clarity is something that has been needed, for some time now.
I know that I am not where I need to be,
but I feel these amazing changes.
I feel that I have so much more in store for me.
Before I make drastic changes in my life,
I think on it. I search high and low for the answers.
It's frustrating at times,
but God is never far.
He listens to your prayers.
He has the answers.

my mind & my heart are finally in sync
my thoughts & my spirit are no longer enemies.
my eyes do not lie &
my lips do not try to convince
you otherwise.
embracing something so beautiful
something so special;
let me teach you the difference between mystery & conception.